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#31
Old RTCW Videos / Re: RTCW demos I got converted...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Aug 01, 2025, 05:40 PM #32
Old RTCW Videos / Re: RTCW demos I got converted...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 31, 2025, 07:13 PM #33
Timmay's Rants / Timmay's Rant from old forum
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 30, 2025, 06:12 PMwe join an unknown arena in an unknown location, city, country where the house lights have started to dim and after a few moments of darkness and the sounds of cheering filling the black void suddenly fireworks shake the inside of the arena followed by a fantastic light display and blaring music drowning out the cheers with an unseen announcer speaking over the chaos "THIS... IS... WRESTLE... MAN - oh, sorry... THIS IS THE EEE EHM OH!!!" and with that different music starts playing as the lights and more fireworks introduce the enterance of two guys standing at the top of a walk way coming out to music starting off "ITS TIME, ITS TIME, ITS MONKEY TIME TIME TIME...." the two guys look around as they head down the ramp and walk around the ominous hellacious looking cell in the middle of the arena floor and make their way to the announcers table off to the side by the ring and sit down looking around slightly confused and put on their headsets and ...
deadman - "g'day ladies and blokes, the eMo welcomes you to this very special night, i am DeadmaN, eMo Prophet and general bearer of bad news, i'll be your commentator tonight. to my right is iMP he is the Official Trainer and Keeper of the ruthlessly efficient evil trained monkeys that are ours alone to command and rule, and to my left should be the eMo Messiah, TiMMaY! but he's no where to be found, imp? you got any clue as to where our self-styled deity is?"
imp - "no... i'm sorry... i'll do better next time, what was the question again? i was just occupied with some deliciously cycloptic krispy kreme that was taunting me and calling me names... i'd also like to announce that i, iMP, successfully sent the monkeys out after britney spears who abducted her, brainwashed her and brought her back to me to be mine to love, to hold, to do with what i please and to eat pie with! imp is pleased... oooooooooooh yessss... imp IS pleased..."
deadman - "you sent the monkeys out after britney!? mate, if and when timmay finds out that you sent the monkeys out without filling out the proper sct342 forms filled in triplicate he's not going to be too pleased in fact, i think i'll just have to go ahead an rat you out meself! you know what happend the last time we tried sending them out after someone to do that very thing... poor poor elle... i barely knew thee... what a mess... we had to go through several different maid services before finding one that would clean up the hair, blood and monkey crap... that's just not cricket..."
imp - "it was his idea..."
deadman - "oh... well then, why don't we just get down to the business of hand then, what have you got for us tonight?"
imp - "i have many wonderful things instore for us tonight, beginning with the cutting of the Ceremonial Cream Pie and then followed up with a rousing rendition of... "
deadman - "wait a tick, some bloke is walking down to the colliseum floor, can't see who it is with all these monkeys in the way, no wait - i can see who it is, its none other than The Voice of Champions Himself... Michael Buffer, what is he doing here? he's not on my script here... imp? you got an idea here?"
imp - "hold on, let me check my script here... uhm... nothing here... imp officially sees no Micheal Buffer listed on his program either..."
deadman - "well, it's looking like he's going to say something, so lets go down to the floor for his announcement..."
Micheal Buffer - "Ladies and Gentlemen, Asmos and Miss Js, Children of all ages, the Evil Monkey Organization is Proud to Present its first EVER Celebrity Monkey DeathMatch, where Celebrities of voter's choosings are kidnapped while they sleep, are drugged, bound and gagged and hauled into this very arena floor, where their annoying existance is brought to an end by the truely awesome power and magnificence that is the Ruthlessly Effecient Evily trained monkeys who have a blood lust for anything that their leaders deem unwanted and should be thrown to the monkeys, parental discrestion is advised. but first, it is my extreme pleasure to introduce the founder, the inspiration for all things questionable, the bane of the status quo, he is one third of the eMo ruling council and two thirds of the brains behind the operation, hailing from Insanity's Asylum where he hatches his evil plans for a new World order, please put your hands together in appreciation of a true humanitarian, he is the self-proclaimed Greatest Intercontinental Messiah of All-Time.... he is... TIMMAY!!"
the crowd of seven poeple in attendance erupt into jeers as timmay makes his way out to the commentary table with a strut that would put both jeff jarrett's and ric flair's struts to shame. as he gets to the commentary table, he holds over his head a shining golden belt for everyone in attendance too see and before he sits down he points and salutes Micheal who is still standing in the middle of the arena floor.
Micheal Buffer - "Timmay wants you all to know, that even though you are all here to bask in his glory, he does not sign autographs... and without further adieu onto tonights slaughter. we have a surprise double main event tonight, as there was no clear winner in the voting polls for who was most worthy of being rendered from limb to limb, first off tonight, she is the Queen of Home Decorating, The Evil Mistress of Something Special, the Creator of recipies that take 2 days to make, don't get in her way, she would sooner spit in your eye than tell you what color mauve and fuschia would go best together in your little powder room that you had been renovating for your wife as a special surprise for her birthday while she was away visiting her sister for a week and you just wanted to do something nice for her. so you go off to see whom everyone deems as a cottage pastel nouveau expert and she tells you to get the hell out of her office before she makes you an extra special something special in her next homemade sausages show... (Micheal stops to wipe a tear from his eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing...) she is refered to everyone around her as "psycho bitch", she is... Martha Stewart!"
as martha is dragged down to the ring by imp's brand new body servant britney spears, micheal lets loose with his registered trademark "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!" britney drags up martha right to where michael is standing on the arena floor and starts going through a three minute dance routine just to take off martha's blindfold.
deadman - "and where have you been there mate? you weren't here for rehersal, you weren't here for the final script reading either and then you have this Michael Buffer guy here to introduce you? y'know, sometimes you're a real tosser..."
tim - "yeah great introduction eh? couldn't have done it better myself, well, yeah, i probably could have come to think of it, maybe a little more humble and modest as well... HA!... get it?? modest and humble?? oooh man, sometimes i just kill me... so anyways how you guys doing?"
deadman - "just roses here, just excited to be here before this live sold out arena crowd who are already chanting for martha's blood!"
tim - "uhm... yeah... you DO know that there is only seven poeple in the crowd right? soooo... imp? whats shaking? i see that you finally got britney to be your body servant eh?"
imp - "you would be surprised the things poeple are willing to do for banana cream pie..."
tim - "is that like, pie pie? or as in the rock's kinda pie?"
imp - "oh no, pie pie... she likes my banana cream..."
deadman - "not to be a wet blanket, but we DO have an event happening here, the crowd is ravenous! they are anxious for a real slobberknocker! so tim, how did you get michael buffer here?"
tim - "dunno, saw him in line at the beer store the other day, mentioned to him about martha being feed to the monkeys and he offered his services..."
britney finally finishes her dance routine and managed to figure out how to take the blindfold off martha. martha blinks a couple of times in the stadium light looks up to see michael buffer standing over her who suddenly starts laughing maniacally over her and walks off to the back. as the cage is lowered over the floor so as to prevent any of the monkeys getting at the paying audience members and the victims trying to get away, britney takes off martha's restrants and gets out through the cage while head referree charles robinson locks the door behind her. martha looking very scared, but still groggy from the drugs looks around to try and comprehend what is happening to her.
tim- "y'know... someone has some serious issuses to deal with, maybe thats why he wanted to do this..."
after head referree charles robinson finishes off making sure that the cage is completely secure, he turns around and gives a big thumbs up to the broadcast table where deadman, imp and tim all stand up to begin the 'Ceremony of The Reading of The Charges' (i know, cheesy eh? it was imp's idea to call it that...)
imp - "martha stewart, you have been unceremoniously convicted of lying by a special FBI investigation and having used the phrase 'something special' too many times, we in the eMo can deal with the lying part but over using 'something special' or 'a good thing' has just gotten way tooo damned annoying! and if anyone is going to be annoying around here, its going to be my accopella rendition of Gonads and strife! gonads and strife! gonads and strife! so i said 'yo mutherfhucker WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
tim - "i think imp needs a vacation..."
deadman - "as the founders and the leaders of the eMo, we declare that martha stewart be feed to the monkeys, where 'er style of demise shall be left strictly up to the monkey collective's descretion. martha, you have cheated and mistreated your fellow human beings for the last time! for shame! i'd say let the dingos at 'er, but the monkeys are more creative! martha, let the monkeys have pity upon your soul!"
tim- "imp... RELEASE THE MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYS!"
deadman - "show off.."
imp majestically reaches forward to pull the switch that release the hordes of monkeys into the steel cage where martha stood waiting rather calmly for her fate. the first two monkeys bounded into the cage and went straight for martha's jugular when she suddenly kicked each of them squarely in the lower extremities and the first two monkeys went down...
deadman - "crickey! martha really is full of piss and vinger! she really showed the first wave of monkeys what for!"
tim - "yeah, those two monkeys folded like cheap hookers when she kicked them... poor little bastards..."
the second wave of monkeys came bounding into the cage, this time there was four of them, and true to their excellent training, went straight for the jugular when martha did a 360 degree double reverse ninja kick and floored all four of the monkeys...
tim - "i'd like to see her try that on me... i'd still take her with one arm tied behind my back and jumping on one foot, kinda like when you're giving panzer lessons to the infamous panzer magnet, Dr. Pookie..."
imp - "guys, imp can't decide whether he likes pie or gonads and strife more...."
deadman - "martha is really cleanin the floor with them monkeys! who would've thought a yank had so much guile in 'er!"
this time the monkeys weren't fooling around and ten of them entered the cage to surround martha in the middle of the ring where once in position, they started closing in on her, when suddenly (again) martha jumps into the air, takes out three monkeys with two seperate kicks and starts running around the sides of the cage matrix style, taking out monkeys left and right...
deadman - (whistling) "no wonder martha has been around for so long! just have a go at martha in there! she's right and fiesty, there's no stoppin 'er!"
tim - "man, there's nothing hotter than a chick that can kick the crap outta ruthlessly efficient evilly trained monkeys! even if she's like one hundred years old! HEY MARTHA! IF YER NOT BUSY AFTERWARDS MAYBE WE COULD GO FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING! MY TREAT! NO HARD FEELINGS!"
imp - "mmmmmmmm... imp has decided upon pie! sooo creamy... soo filling... soooo... sweeet..."
tim - "imp, budday, after these matches are over, take a vacation... seriously... you deserve it... i'll even pay for you to take britney along with you... speaking of which, where is she?"
deadman - "word from the back is that she was tryin to take off those vinyl pants of er's and put on 'er bunny costume to bring imp 'is pie, when she locked 'erself in the lou!"
head referree charles robinson starts waving his arms motioning towards where martha is standing and a good thirty monkeys come storming into the cage where they all jump onto martha forming a living monkey pyramid when suddenly martha's arm breaks the surface of the pile, with a gasp from the announcers table, for a minute it looked like martha was going to have her way with these group of monkeys as well, when then monkeys started screaming and jumping up and down and waving martha's arm!
deadman - "well it looks as though the monkeys grew tired of gettin their arses whooped! this is huge! martha! you proved what you were all about! oh the humanity of it all! i wonder what the monkeys have instore of her next!"
tim - "well, i can tell you what they don't have instore for her next, a few drinks, a couple of laughs, a night of no regrets... but oh well... she wouldn't have been able to keep up to me anyways... whats that saying? she's old and busted and i'm new hotness? as for what the monkeys are going to do with her, i've been showing them a few of her teevee shows for some ideas..."
imp - (tents fingers) "Excellent... Smithers! release the robotic richard simmons!"
four monkeys break off from the pack to run to the back and return within a few moments pushing a kitchen set resembling the very one that martha films her shows with. while a group of monkeys keep working on tearing martha's now quite dead body apart, another group of monkeys preheats the oven to 425 degrees while yet another group of monkeys starts kneeding some dough with one of two monkeys feeding martha's body parts into the meat grinder. while the monkeys are busy, another breaks off from the group get get a large pie tray and proceeds to butter it and then to line the bottom with martha stewart signature parchment paper. the monkeys, working as a collective unit preparing the dough and the martha meat and other various ingredients, leaving the announcer table guessing at whats being prepared...
iron chef play-by-play guy - "QWAIZAN!"
deadman - "yes, go ahead..."
iron chef play-by-play guy - "the iron monkey chef was telling me that the other ingredients he has around there are butter, brown sugar, brie, walnuts and cashews!"
deadman - "thats quite a variety there! what's 'e using them for?"
iron chef play-by-play guy - "well, i was asking iron monkey chef what he was planning to do with those ingredients, and he said that even he didn't know yet, that he was just going with the flow until something reached out and grabbed him!"
(dubbed over laughing from the announcers table)
as the monkeys are working away in the make shift kitchen, the iron monkey chef starts folding the dough in the bottom of the pie pan and starts putting in the martha meat on the bottom followed by another layer of dough over the martha meat to seemingly make a double layer meat pie...
iron chef play-by-play guy - "QWAIZAN!"
deadman - "yes, go ahead..."
iron chef play-by-play guy - "the iron monkey chef just said that you were right in thinking that it was going to be a double layer meat pie, he has the martha meat on the bottom and in the second layer, he's adding the peices of brie along with brown sugar and the two types of nuts to the top layer will be covered with another peice of dough over top to be brushed with melted butter, where he will then put it into the oven that has been preheated to 425 degrees and it will cook for approximately fifteen to twenty minutes or until the pastry is puffy and golden!"
tim - (sniffs) "i'm just so damned proud of those monkeys right now! i just hope they're not expecting us to eat it, i dunno if that martha meat is kosher at all..."
imp - "hahahah! its funny cause they're making pie!"
deadman - "well it seems as though we've seen the last of martha stewart for good! if we can get our official rulin from head referree charles robinson, we can get on to the second half of our special double main event... let's go to the ring for the rulin..."
the iron monkey chef pulls out the martha meat tourtier avec brie et noix out of the oven and puts it onto the ground where head referree charles robinson does a baseball slide to the ground and delievers the 1 --- 2 --- 3!! he calls for the bell and officially announces that martha stewart is no more!
deadman - "what a truely astounding match! the sell out crowd is on its collective feet cheerin! they definitely got their moneys worth tonight! i never thought it would end this way, what did you guys think?"
tim - "uh... there's six poeple here, there's no sell out, there was seven, but i think one of the monkeys grabbed him and added him to the martha meat, that or he got bored and left the arena, which is impossible, because when i came in, i made sure that all the doors were locked so that no one could leave... er... i mean that i made sure everyone here would have a good time! yeah... thats it... and plus dead, how many times do i have to tell you that none of these poeple paid to begin with? they're poeple we randomly dragged in off of the street, WCW crowd filling style... and come to think of it, i don't think that they're enjoying themselves, i think i just saw one of them blink and yawn, they are definitely not basking in my glory are they? HEY ASSHOLES! BASK IN MY GLORY OR YER GOING INTO THE CAGE NEXT!!"
imp - "imp would've had more fun if britney had not locked herself in the bathroom with my pie... but if i could be serious for a moment..."
tim - "well, as long as you're not shirley or frank..."
imp - "imp just wanted to say before he was interrupted that after all the pain, the sweat and the tears that went into training these monkeys, i'm glad to see all the efforts being paid off... especially by killing annoying celebrities, what an excellent test for the monkeys..."
tim - "hear hear! i'd like to take all the credit myself like i usually do, but i'm just going to break character briefly to bask in the glory that is imp's efforts... there... thats good enough..."
deadman - "sorry mates, but i'm bein told in the back that they've finished cleanin up the arena floor except for that one spot there and that they're ready for the next match, oh, and imp, i've got some bad news, apparently britney drowned in the pie, they got the lou door open finally and found britney all tangled up in her pants and face down in the pie and quite dead..."
imp - *beaming smile* "see? i TOLD you guys that she couldn't get enough of my banana cream.... uh...."
tim - " ... pie?"
deadman - "g'day ladies and blokes, the eMo welcomes you to this very special night, i am DeadmaN, eMo Prophet and general bearer of bad news, i'll be your commentator tonight. to my right is iMP he is the Official Trainer and Keeper of the ruthlessly efficient evil trained monkeys that are ours alone to command and rule, and to my left should be the eMo Messiah, TiMMaY! but he's no where to be found, imp? you got any clue as to where our self-styled deity is?"
imp - "no... i'm sorry... i'll do better next time, what was the question again? i was just occupied with some deliciously cycloptic krispy kreme that was taunting me and calling me names... i'd also like to announce that i, iMP, successfully sent the monkeys out after britney spears who abducted her, brainwashed her and brought her back to me to be mine to love, to hold, to do with what i please and to eat pie with! imp is pleased... oooooooooooh yessss... imp IS pleased..."
deadman - "you sent the monkeys out after britney!? mate, if and when timmay finds out that you sent the monkeys out without filling out the proper sct342 forms filled in triplicate he's not going to be too pleased in fact, i think i'll just have to go ahead an rat you out meself! you know what happend the last time we tried sending them out after someone to do that very thing... poor poor elle... i barely knew thee... what a mess... we had to go through several different maid services before finding one that would clean up the hair, blood and monkey crap... that's just not cricket..."
imp - "it was his idea..."
deadman - "oh... well then, why don't we just get down to the business of hand then, what have you got for us tonight?"
imp - "i have many wonderful things instore for us tonight, beginning with the cutting of the Ceremonial Cream Pie and then followed up with a rousing rendition of... "
deadman - "wait a tick, some bloke is walking down to the colliseum floor, can't see who it is with all these monkeys in the way, no wait - i can see who it is, its none other than The Voice of Champions Himself... Michael Buffer, what is he doing here? he's not on my script here... imp? you got an idea here?"
imp - "hold on, let me check my script here... uhm... nothing here... imp officially sees no Micheal Buffer listed on his program either..."
deadman - "well, it's looking like he's going to say something, so lets go down to the floor for his announcement..."
Micheal Buffer - "Ladies and Gentlemen, Asmos and Miss Js, Children of all ages, the Evil Monkey Organization is Proud to Present its first EVER Celebrity Monkey DeathMatch, where Celebrities of voter's choosings are kidnapped while they sleep, are drugged, bound and gagged and hauled into this very arena floor, where their annoying existance is brought to an end by the truely awesome power and magnificence that is the Ruthlessly Effecient Evily trained monkeys who have a blood lust for anything that their leaders deem unwanted and should be thrown to the monkeys, parental discrestion is advised. but first, it is my extreme pleasure to introduce the founder, the inspiration for all things questionable, the bane of the status quo, he is one third of the eMo ruling council and two thirds of the brains behind the operation, hailing from Insanity's Asylum where he hatches his evil plans for a new World order, please put your hands together in appreciation of a true humanitarian, he is the self-proclaimed Greatest Intercontinental Messiah of All-Time.... he is... TIMMAY!!"
the crowd of seven poeple in attendance erupt into jeers as timmay makes his way out to the commentary table with a strut that would put both jeff jarrett's and ric flair's struts to shame. as he gets to the commentary table, he holds over his head a shining golden belt for everyone in attendance too see and before he sits down he points and salutes Micheal who is still standing in the middle of the arena floor.
Micheal Buffer - "Timmay wants you all to know, that even though you are all here to bask in his glory, he does not sign autographs... and without further adieu onto tonights slaughter. we have a surprise double main event tonight, as there was no clear winner in the voting polls for who was most worthy of being rendered from limb to limb, first off tonight, she is the Queen of Home Decorating, The Evil Mistress of Something Special, the Creator of recipies that take 2 days to make, don't get in her way, she would sooner spit in your eye than tell you what color mauve and fuschia would go best together in your little powder room that you had been renovating for your wife as a special surprise for her birthday while she was away visiting her sister for a week and you just wanted to do something nice for her. so you go off to see whom everyone deems as a cottage pastel nouveau expert and she tells you to get the hell out of her office before she makes you an extra special something special in her next homemade sausages show... (Micheal stops to wipe a tear from his eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing...) she is refered to everyone around her as "psycho bitch", she is... Martha Stewart!"
as martha is dragged down to the ring by imp's brand new body servant britney spears, micheal lets loose with his registered trademark "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!" britney drags up martha right to where michael is standing on the arena floor and starts going through a three minute dance routine just to take off martha's blindfold.
deadman - "and where have you been there mate? you weren't here for rehersal, you weren't here for the final script reading either and then you have this Michael Buffer guy here to introduce you? y'know, sometimes you're a real tosser..."
tim - "yeah great introduction eh? couldn't have done it better myself, well, yeah, i probably could have come to think of it, maybe a little more humble and modest as well... HA!... get it?? modest and humble?? oooh man, sometimes i just kill me... so anyways how you guys doing?"
deadman - "just roses here, just excited to be here before this live sold out arena crowd who are already chanting for martha's blood!"
tim - "uhm... yeah... you DO know that there is only seven poeple in the crowd right? soooo... imp? whats shaking? i see that you finally got britney to be your body servant eh?"
imp - "you would be surprised the things poeple are willing to do for banana cream pie..."
tim - "is that like, pie pie? or as in the rock's kinda pie?"
imp - "oh no, pie pie... she likes my banana cream..."
deadman - "not to be a wet blanket, but we DO have an event happening here, the crowd is ravenous! they are anxious for a real slobberknocker! so tim, how did you get michael buffer here?"
tim - "dunno, saw him in line at the beer store the other day, mentioned to him about martha being feed to the monkeys and he offered his services..."
britney finally finishes her dance routine and managed to figure out how to take the blindfold off martha. martha blinks a couple of times in the stadium light looks up to see michael buffer standing over her who suddenly starts laughing maniacally over her and walks off to the back. as the cage is lowered over the floor so as to prevent any of the monkeys getting at the paying audience members and the victims trying to get away, britney takes off martha's restrants and gets out through the cage while head referree charles robinson locks the door behind her. martha looking very scared, but still groggy from the drugs looks around to try and comprehend what is happening to her.
tim- "y'know... someone has some serious issuses to deal with, maybe thats why he wanted to do this..."
after head referree charles robinson finishes off making sure that the cage is completely secure, he turns around and gives a big thumbs up to the broadcast table where deadman, imp and tim all stand up to begin the 'Ceremony of The Reading of The Charges' (i know, cheesy eh? it was imp's idea to call it that...)
imp - "martha stewart, you have been unceremoniously convicted of lying by a special FBI investigation and having used the phrase 'something special' too many times, we in the eMo can deal with the lying part but over using 'something special' or 'a good thing' has just gotten way tooo damned annoying! and if anyone is going to be annoying around here, its going to be my accopella rendition of Gonads and strife! gonads and strife! gonads and strife! so i said 'yo mutherfhucker WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
tim - "i think imp needs a vacation..."
deadman - "as the founders and the leaders of the eMo, we declare that martha stewart be feed to the monkeys, where 'er style of demise shall be left strictly up to the monkey collective's descretion. martha, you have cheated and mistreated your fellow human beings for the last time! for shame! i'd say let the dingos at 'er, but the monkeys are more creative! martha, let the monkeys have pity upon your soul!"
tim- "imp... RELEASE THE MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYS!"
deadman - "show off.."
imp majestically reaches forward to pull the switch that release the hordes of monkeys into the steel cage where martha stood waiting rather calmly for her fate. the first two monkeys bounded into the cage and went straight for martha's jugular when she suddenly kicked each of them squarely in the lower extremities and the first two monkeys went down...
deadman - "crickey! martha really is full of piss and vinger! she really showed the first wave of monkeys what for!"
tim - "yeah, those two monkeys folded like cheap hookers when she kicked them... poor little bastards..."
the second wave of monkeys came bounding into the cage, this time there was four of them, and true to their excellent training, went straight for the jugular when martha did a 360 degree double reverse ninja kick and floored all four of the monkeys...
tim - "i'd like to see her try that on me... i'd still take her with one arm tied behind my back and jumping on one foot, kinda like when you're giving panzer lessons to the infamous panzer magnet, Dr. Pookie..."
imp - "guys, imp can't decide whether he likes pie or gonads and strife more...."
deadman - "martha is really cleanin the floor with them monkeys! who would've thought a yank had so much guile in 'er!"
this time the monkeys weren't fooling around and ten of them entered the cage to surround martha in the middle of the ring where once in position, they started closing in on her, when suddenly (again) martha jumps into the air, takes out three monkeys with two seperate kicks and starts running around the sides of the cage matrix style, taking out monkeys left and right...
deadman - (whistling) "no wonder martha has been around for so long! just have a go at martha in there! she's right and fiesty, there's no stoppin 'er!"
tim - "man, there's nothing hotter than a chick that can kick the crap outta ruthlessly efficient evilly trained monkeys! even if she's like one hundred years old! HEY MARTHA! IF YER NOT BUSY AFTERWARDS MAYBE WE COULD GO FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING! MY TREAT! NO HARD FEELINGS!"
imp - "mmmmmmmm... imp has decided upon pie! sooo creamy... soo filling... soooo... sweeet..."
tim - "imp, budday, after these matches are over, take a vacation... seriously... you deserve it... i'll even pay for you to take britney along with you... speaking of which, where is she?"
deadman - "word from the back is that she was tryin to take off those vinyl pants of er's and put on 'er bunny costume to bring imp 'is pie, when she locked 'erself in the lou!"
head referree charles robinson starts waving his arms motioning towards where martha is standing and a good thirty monkeys come storming into the cage where they all jump onto martha forming a living monkey pyramid when suddenly martha's arm breaks the surface of the pile, with a gasp from the announcers table, for a minute it looked like martha was going to have her way with these group of monkeys as well, when then monkeys started screaming and jumping up and down and waving martha's arm!
deadman - "well it looks as though the monkeys grew tired of gettin their arses whooped! this is huge! martha! you proved what you were all about! oh the humanity of it all! i wonder what the monkeys have instore of her next!"
tim - "well, i can tell you what they don't have instore for her next, a few drinks, a couple of laughs, a night of no regrets... but oh well... she wouldn't have been able to keep up to me anyways... whats that saying? she's old and busted and i'm new hotness? as for what the monkeys are going to do with her, i've been showing them a few of her teevee shows for some ideas..."
imp - (tents fingers) "Excellent... Smithers! release the robotic richard simmons!"
four monkeys break off from the pack to run to the back and return within a few moments pushing a kitchen set resembling the very one that martha films her shows with. while a group of monkeys keep working on tearing martha's now quite dead body apart, another group of monkeys preheats the oven to 425 degrees while yet another group of monkeys starts kneeding some dough with one of two monkeys feeding martha's body parts into the meat grinder. while the monkeys are busy, another breaks off from the group get get a large pie tray and proceeds to butter it and then to line the bottom with martha stewart signature parchment paper. the monkeys, working as a collective unit preparing the dough and the martha meat and other various ingredients, leaving the announcer table guessing at whats being prepared...
iron chef play-by-play guy - "QWAIZAN!"
deadman - "yes, go ahead..."
iron chef play-by-play guy - "the iron monkey chef was telling me that the other ingredients he has around there are butter, brown sugar, brie, walnuts and cashews!"
deadman - "thats quite a variety there! what's 'e using them for?"
iron chef play-by-play guy - "well, i was asking iron monkey chef what he was planning to do with those ingredients, and he said that even he didn't know yet, that he was just going with the flow until something reached out and grabbed him!"
(dubbed over laughing from the announcers table)
as the monkeys are working away in the make shift kitchen, the iron monkey chef starts folding the dough in the bottom of the pie pan and starts putting in the martha meat on the bottom followed by another layer of dough over the martha meat to seemingly make a double layer meat pie...
iron chef play-by-play guy - "QWAIZAN!"
deadman - "yes, go ahead..."
iron chef play-by-play guy - "the iron monkey chef just said that you were right in thinking that it was going to be a double layer meat pie, he has the martha meat on the bottom and in the second layer, he's adding the peices of brie along with brown sugar and the two types of nuts to the top layer will be covered with another peice of dough over top to be brushed with melted butter, where he will then put it into the oven that has been preheated to 425 degrees and it will cook for approximately fifteen to twenty minutes or until the pastry is puffy and golden!"
tim - (sniffs) "i'm just so damned proud of those monkeys right now! i just hope they're not expecting us to eat it, i dunno if that martha meat is kosher at all..."
imp - "hahahah! its funny cause they're making pie!"
deadman - "well it seems as though we've seen the last of martha stewart for good! if we can get our official rulin from head referree charles robinson, we can get on to the second half of our special double main event... let's go to the ring for the rulin..."
the iron monkey chef pulls out the martha meat tourtier avec brie et noix out of the oven and puts it onto the ground where head referree charles robinson does a baseball slide to the ground and delievers the 1 --- 2 --- 3!! he calls for the bell and officially announces that martha stewart is no more!
deadman - "what a truely astounding match! the sell out crowd is on its collective feet cheerin! they definitely got their moneys worth tonight! i never thought it would end this way, what did you guys think?"
tim - "uh... there's six poeple here, there's no sell out, there was seven, but i think one of the monkeys grabbed him and added him to the martha meat, that or he got bored and left the arena, which is impossible, because when i came in, i made sure that all the doors were locked so that no one could leave... er... i mean that i made sure everyone here would have a good time! yeah... thats it... and plus dead, how many times do i have to tell you that none of these poeple paid to begin with? they're poeple we randomly dragged in off of the street, WCW crowd filling style... and come to think of it, i don't think that they're enjoying themselves, i think i just saw one of them blink and yawn, they are definitely not basking in my glory are they? HEY ASSHOLES! BASK IN MY GLORY OR YER GOING INTO THE CAGE NEXT!!"
imp - "imp would've had more fun if britney had not locked herself in the bathroom with my pie... but if i could be serious for a moment..."
tim - "well, as long as you're not shirley or frank..."
imp - "imp just wanted to say before he was interrupted that after all the pain, the sweat and the tears that went into training these monkeys, i'm glad to see all the efforts being paid off... especially by killing annoying celebrities, what an excellent test for the monkeys..."
tim - "hear hear! i'd like to take all the credit myself like i usually do, but i'm just going to break character briefly to bask in the glory that is imp's efforts... there... thats good enough..."
deadman - "sorry mates, but i'm bein told in the back that they've finished cleanin up the arena floor except for that one spot there and that they're ready for the next match, oh, and imp, i've got some bad news, apparently britney drowned in the pie, they got the lou door open finally and found britney all tangled up in her pants and face down in the pie and quite dead..."
imp - *beaming smile* "see? i TOLD you guys that she couldn't get enough of my banana cream.... uh...."
tim - " ... pie?"
#34
Old RTCW Videos / Re: RTCW demos I got converted...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 30, 2025, 04:45 PM #35
Old RTCW Videos / Re: RTCW demos I got converted...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 30, 2025, 04:45 PM #36
Old RTCW Videos / Re: RTCW demos I got converted...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 30, 2025, 04:44 PM #37
Old RTCW Videos / RTCW demos I got converted to ...
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 30, 2025, 04:43 PM #38
Old RTCW Videos / Re: Flash Player Intro
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 28, 2025, 04:24 PMFor shits and giggles, I have Xtreme Destruction's flash intro too, and I converted it.
https://www.thelunaticfam.com/misc/=XD=FlashIntroFinal3.mp4
https://www.thelunaticfam.com/misc/=XD=FlashIntroFinal3.mp4
#39
Old RTCW Videos / Flash Player Intro
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 28, 2025, 04:22 PMLast night I finally figured out how to convert our old intro into mp4. I added to the website.
https://www.thelunaticfam.com/videos/intro.mp4
https://www.thelunaticfam.com/videos/intro.mp4
#40
News / Re: New website is alive :)
Last post by (LuNaTiC)*Marcus - Jul 23, 2025, 07:28 PMFeel free to make suggestions on new website.
I'm not going all out on forum like I did on old website, pretty much going to keep it stock.
Only change I made was background color to match the logo BigBadWolf made.
And added Rogue's "Wèlçômè»2»†he»(LúÑàTìÇ)»MàDhÔú§ê", which seems to be viewable on computer only.
I'm not going all out on forum like I did on old website, pretty much going to keep it stock.
Only change I made was background color to match the logo BigBadWolf made.
And added Rogue's "Wèlçômè»2»†he»(LúÑàTìÇ)»MàDhÔú§ê", which seems to be viewable on computer only.